sourgrapes

"One of the most common nightmares among alcoholics is the terrible recurring dream where you fall off the wagon. You fight all day to stay sober, then in your sleep you relapse."

Wow, I thought cracked was strictly satire, but there's definitely some truth in there. If alcohol makes an appearance in my dreams lately I get all panicky (within the dream) and think exactly this. Funny read Thoughts are with everyone struggling the last couple days, stay with us!

StrongEnough - I struggle with that sort of, uh, nihilism or apathetic type thinking too. Last time I broke my sobriety, I rationalized something like "if drinking is the thing that makes me happy, I don't care if it takes years off my life". And honestly if I felt I were able to live life remotely to the fullest in the meantime, I'd still be making that excuse. That combined with feeling better in sobriety leading me to think why not have my cake and eat it too? But inevitably attempts at controlled drinking lead me right back to obscene levels of drinking over time, making me miserable to the point of inventing new reasons to be apathetic, that excuse my drinking. Ugh, hopefully never again.