Thanks Mark, V, Briar...
It's true that it's been a struggle since the baby has been born. You right Mark in that I was using the pregnancy as a reason not to drink. I don't have that anymore and there is alcohol in the house and around me all the time. Every F'n family member drinks. I can't expect anyone to change because of me. So I feel like just dealing with the alcohol use rather than quit.
I looked up some AA meetings in my area last night as I was feeling sorry for myself. I'm also very angry. Threw my glasses and phone against the wall....we will see what happens. I'm very tired and may put it off until tomorrow.