I didn't have the luxury of time off from work for treatment, so I just quit at home
and kept up my "normal" schedule and life.
No, it wasn't easy, and my spouse also had a great deal of justifiable anger which came out in the early months.
Yes, it is hard to adjust to engaging emotions and not drinking them away.
Yes, you are an emotional basketcase and temptation is certainly there to drink.
However, life is life, and I was determined to stop drinking no matter what, so I did, as have many other people.
I wanted to repair my marriage so I dealt with the anger as best I could and got some cognitive counseling to process some of the emotional baggage.
I filled my life with other things besides alcohol and accepted what I had done while drinking and made what amends I could (I'm not an AA person by the way)
So at some level, you just have to really embrace recovery and not just stop drinking.
It is something you do for yourself and not to placate others, but
I also think alcoholics need to accept that their past (and current)actions have fallout which must
be understood and dealt with involving family, friends, and work.
Playing video games, watching TV, blowing up when confronted are to my mind avoidance strategies like drinking--not OK in my book.
I don't really agree with the notion that it is all about the alcoholic "doing what they want" just to stay sober.
My family needed financial / emotional support and care even if I was quitting drinking, so I did my best to be there and that effort,
hard as it was at times, actually helped my recovery. Alcoholism is so selfish it was a relief to step back and think of others.
So I guess I see some red flags if your husband won't even engage in discussing difficult issues while in rehab.
Maybe he still thinks it is all about him, maybe he is only there to get you off his back,
and maybe he isn't really done drinking but is just dry for awhile.
They say around here that "recovery looks like recovery" and even more it "feels" like recovery to family as well as themselves.
If you are still walking on eggshells, I don't think he is really in recovery, I'm sorry to say.