Butterfly.....I am telling you that her attitude WILL continue to be what it is now.
If she bommerangs back for the 2nd time....things with reach the same water table, again, quicker than you can say "Wee Willie Winkle". And the disappointment is worse. the second time around.
That she is "unhappy" is not a good reason to let her come back. Kids can get unhappy as soon as things become uneasy for them. She gets unhappy just because she has to wash dishes...lol. Of course, she will ask for a 2nd chance. You already know that she will.
Look...you are really angry, right now (understandably) and you sound very weak in your ability to hold the boundary......when you say "I don't know"...says that. If you were firm in your resolve you wouldn't be even
be saying that.
You have to be firm in your intentions to hold your boundaries....else, they will sense it and manipulate you to the hilt.
I am not saying that you are playing a victim, right n ow. But if you find yourself in this situation for a second time....you won't be able to say it happened to you--as the outcome of all of this is within your hands to control.
I know that I am not saying the popular words. I am try ing to save you more grief down the road.
You will have a much better relationship when she isn't l iving under your wing...lol.
dandylion