Hello Whatsgoingon,
You said it in your first post
Whether I'm an alcoholic or a binge drinker does not hide the fact that whichever way I describe myself I most definitely have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
In the last year I had less binges, more period of sobriety ( i.e weeks, not days) , more periods of 'moderate' drinking than in any of the previous 30 years.
I used internal arguments exactly the same ( and, forgive me for saying equally flawed) as the ones you have posted in this thread . I sought the counsel of very dear trusted lifelong friends who assured me I was a 'heavy drinker', not an 'alcoholic'.
Here's the thing. I think you want to stop, but are afraid of having to contemplate never drinking alcohol again for the rest of you life. I get that.
But you don't have to. Just don't take the first drink, then it is not possible to take the second, the fifth, the thirteenth.
If you are anything like me ( and you sound exactly like me
), you will need support to do this and SR is the place to find this support.
I suggest checking in with the Class of July 2015 thread here.
Good luck. You can do this.