Well made it to day 5 and gave in. My AV was just killing me yesterday! My mom was talking about drinking, my neighbor was getting drunk as usual with his friends, and i just kept thinking, why can't i drink? Why can't i enjoy my Friday with some booze. It is so stupid, at least now i know it is. Did i have any fun? Nope, instead i went to bed crying as usual because i was beating myself up for failing again! I have said it a dozen times maybe, but i am going to AA. I have been praying alot as well. I am not even religious, sure i believe in Jesus but i don't normally pray or attend church, but latley i have been praying and asking Jesus to come to me. I know it might sound weird. I think i just need someone to save me??? I am not sure. The good thing is i did not get drunk last night, i knew to stop, and i ate dinner and went to bed at a normal time etc. But my head sure hurts, i am just happy i am not hugging the toliet like last week. I hope no one here thinks i am not serious about stopping. I am very serious. This is just so hard. It seems so easy at first and then i do 4-5 days and i get that craving and i do fight it so hard but i give in. Anyway thanks for reading. Hope you all are having a good weekend.