Frank --
I hope that my observation didn't salt any wounds. That wasn't my intent. If it leads to introspection, then I think that has to be good.
We recognize parts of ourselves in others. When I was drunk, it amplified my loneliness many times over. And it's safe to say that I reached a point when I loathed alcohol even as I poured it down my throat.
But if we're actively alcoholic, there are still the parts of us that we wish could be the whole of us. Our qualities that get pushed to the margins the moment we open the bottle.
When sober, you've shown those qualities. Intelligence and a quick wit. I still remember something along the lines of "one small step for Frank, one giant leap for the dairy industry" when you were chugging milk during times of clarity.
So you've done inpatient before. Time to retrace your footsteps and see what didn't "take." Maybe another stint? I don't know. I do know I hope that you can find wellness this time.
And it is possible. After all, if we can put a man on the moon ...