Liz, I followed much of your story and I am so happy for you that you found a promising new relationship! I think it's perfectly normal to be a but guarded and apprehensive. Best of luck - he sounds great!
I just wanted to share how consciously listening to my intuition saved me from falling for yet another very unhealthy person:
After a recent bad break-up, I was not looking for anyone, but ended up meeting this guy a few weeks ago. We went out and the chemistry was INCREDIBLE. It was the best date of my life. I found him charming, worldly, classy, and drop-dead gorgeous. We sizzled! I tried to keep up my guard, but he talked love very quickly. I told him before I meet him again, I would have to check up on him. I googled his name and nothing came up. He insisted it's his name and I asked him to send me a copy of his ID. He did a day later and I told him that I am flattered that he would go to such lengths as to photoshop this. He denied and said I am crazy. Later in the day he came clean about having lied about his nationality (like I care where someone is from). He gave a reasonably good explanation and sounded adequately embarrassed and remorseful. I asked for his real name and he gave it to me. The second link was to a magazine article about his honeymoon a few years ago. His wife's facebook had an anniversary picture of the two from a few months ago. I confronted him and heard again how crazy I am to assume he is married, until I said "Does (insert her name) know you are going after other women." Then came the sob story. I am just relieved nothing more happened besides kissing.
Long story short, if it's too great, something might just be off. I am a bit sad because it felt so good and exciting, but a person like that does not deserve me.
But I think it's another good experience to find out what works for me. With axbf, it was his alcoholism and unaddressed PTSD and other issues, but he is a very decent person and remains a friend (he is in recovery now). The last ex turned out to be a manipulative, ruthless narcissist and this last date is a player. The good news is that with each one, I am better equipped to figure it out and walk away.
