This is how Brene Brown defines love:
We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.
Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.
Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
My primary take away in all of that (for me at my point in my recovery) is that we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. For me personally, and for my al-anon friends, one of the biggest struggles I face everyday is loving myself and being consistent with self-care. I think when you aren't raised with the concept of self love and self-care, they are very difficult to learn as an adult and those effect our relationships with ALL people that we love, not just in romantic relationships.
That's my opinion on it anyway.
P.S. I'm glad you're new relationship is smooth sailing.
