It was real for me! I have dated normies and addicts of sorts... some verbally/emotionally abusive ex addicts, some active (though I left when I learned the truth), and some "normies" that had other issues in the realm of dysfunction....
I personally cannot deny that my relationship with my xabf wasn't real love. We had serendipity like crazy... met doing karaoke only to end up listening to each other's music all night in which we both used the same program to produce (we are both musicians)... I declined getting to know him better then, only to run back into him the very night I was stood up on a blind date where I was trying to exercise "dating other people" with my then current boyfriend who I was FINALLY ready to let go of.
You couldn't have written a better story. To top it off, the next day we found that we were both going to end up at the same book store anyway because he was buying a book for his daughter and I am as kid free for the weekend and wanted to read.
Fast forward and it turns out my daughters bonded with him better than any man I have ever dated and vice versa with his daughter even though HE had been married. We share the same very odd favorite movie.
And so on and so on....
In addition, he wasn't abusive. He was an overly loving drunk that couldn't walk by the end of the night and made many stupid choices. It doesn't make his alcoholism any easier... but in our relationship we shared tenderness and honestly we could talk for hours and he is the first man that I really knew listened to me. We had fun, shared laughter, helped and supported one another....
Let me just say this.... IT WAS ALL GOING TO GO BAD and I knew it!!! But it was real. I don't feel bad or ashamed about that. My struggle is knowing that whether or not he keeps sober, if ever I decide to truly walk away, then I will be giving myself an even better opportunity...
Love is all around us. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.