Well ,
I'd like to get on here and complain that my wife non communicative today, and is tired, not talking, not answering texts I send her in the other room, yet says she's not mad, only tired..
I've recently noticed that I'm jealous because she spends all of her time talking to our kids, and her mom and dad, siblings, and pretty much none to me- at least it feels that way when I'm pouting about it. I quickly am reminded in my head of what an ass I've been, while drunk, for the past9-10 yrs of marriage, so maybe im just whining because it's 9 pm, I'm sober awake, and that recently been more and more of a regular thing. I have to basically knock myself out with sleep medication. I don't have family to talk to as we are far and away estranged. We can say I love you only because we are all 100 miles from one another. Not a like not close in age, nothing. Dads gone since childhood, moms dementia patient in nursing home. Not griping, just that's where it is, for me.
I think I'm waking up to a pain in my marriage, and noticing that it hurts when you're ignored, wether or not they mean to. I'm sure we need or could use counselling, but she's not wanted to go for whatever reason.
Wow I'm feeling weird tonight ! Not bad, just blah and could use a hug, but don't want to **** off the wife by waking her up to get one . Haha ! 6 yr olds at granny's house, and 2 yr old will tear the house down if I wake him up.
Tomorrow I'll be glad I didn't drink just like I've been these past few weeks, because hangover equals danger on my job driving trucks and equipment. I've got to do better on the weekends. They're my holdout/hang up , stumbling block. I'm working 1 day of it, so shouldn't be too much going one even if I planned to drink. I plan NOT to.
Man , I'm weird tonight. Hugs to y'all !!