Glad your evening went well, Cauliflower. Your 9 year old sounds pretty funny. That's why I have always loved children, because they are honest and they can always lighten a mood.
88 days today. Had a couple close calls lately. My trip to Oregon went OK. I loved seeing my son. There were a few friends that I'm realizing that maybe we really don't know each other like I thought. When asked why I wasn't drinking I just said it wasn't working for me anymore. When I certain person persisted and went on how I wasn't fun anymore I brought up a few old memories of my blackouts where I basically scared the **** out of everyone, and asked, "have you forgotten about that?"..That shut him up.
On the last day of my trip I was at my mom's house. My sister came over and told me that my dad had died that morning. I had to catch a plane that afternoon to get home so I basically had to go into autopilot mode so I could get through my plane ride. My sister drove me to the airport and we stood outside chain smoking staring at the ground, not speaking until I had to go through security. I don't even remember the trip home to be honest. I am still kind of in shock. I haven't told any of my friends and won't talk to my mom, I will only talk to my sisters. I'm not sure why. I am just sad and really really angry. I don't want to lash out at anyone that I care about I guess. My husband has been OK, he actually laid some heavy **** on me a few hours after I got home that I won't go into now. But my whole world is changing and I am just kind of numb. My dad wants half his ashes spread in Orange County on the beach he used to surf in high school and the other half in eastern Utah where he was born...So it looks like I will be going on a trip with just my sisters soon. They have shut everyone out too..not sure why we are doing this.
Thank you Cauliflower for checking on me and dragging me out of my shell. I seriously might have drank that night if you didn't message me. And this is why we need each other.