So sorry for your loss.
I really hope that you decide to stay sober, and brave that painful (but healing) grieving process. I believe that 'drinking through'grieving periods for my nan and step-dad really left me with lots of unsorted junk inside that took me years after to deal with when I sobered up. And it was just as painful - I just dragged it out more.
You can do this. Please stay sober.