Dean, very sorry to hear your sad news. I'm sure she would want you to live the happiest, healthiest life you can, and I'm also sure that you're not going to find that in the bottom of a bottle of booze.
I lost my mother unexpectedly last year and regret to this day that I was drunk for most of the week after her passing. One of my least moments I'm most ashamed of today.
You're in my thoughts and prayers, and just know the good folks here at SR are here for you 24/7.