AF, I can only add what has been mentioned a couple times before through this thread. 99.9% of us are total strangers, we don't know each other, and we are not obligated to anything. This place is voluntary. The fact you have 7 pages of responses from total strangers should resonate with you that people do in fact care, and genuinely want the best for you. Some people are better at articulating their thoughts than others, but that doesn't lessen the genuineness of their responses to your OP. I have felt a little resentment bubble up before in some of my threads, but it was misguided. The people here owe me nothing, and yet are taking time out of their lives to share their thoughts because they care. They are not posting or being direct with you because they have some ulterior motive, or to satisfy some twisted fetish, correct? I have yet to come across a group of people either online or even in-person who are as unique as this forum (granted, I'm no expert in that area). I'm sure you already know this, but if people didn't care about you or thought you were disingenuous or god forbid, just toying with their emotions, you would get one or two responses from newbies and the thread would die. right? Hang in there AF.