Originally Posted by
Briar 
To be honest, I am obsessing over having a drink right now. It's going through my head over and over.
It would be so easy to get. It would make me feel better for a little while. Nearly five months of sobriety, and its promises are not delivered. I don't care about the long-term consequences. It wasn't that bad. I know how to quit again. No one has to know. It's no big deal. I just want to feel better.
Thinking of a drink sparks a little jolt of hope and pleasure. Feeling otherwise emotionless and dead makes it hard to fear the consequences.
I think I'm okay, but that's what's on my crazy mind today.
Every now and then, I catch a glimpse of her . . . She has, largely, faded from my vivid memory but, occasionally, she slips back in . . . . The sight of her sends shivers down my spine - SoullessLeigh - so I dig deep for the courage to face her, look into the nothingness of her eyes, her emptiness, and remind her that she will forever remain my past.
Just one drink and she could again, and forever, become my reality.
Face what you feel today, sweetest Briar, with the belief that better days await you. I promise you, they do.