Originally Posted by
ArtFriend 
I know even before I post this that people will tell me that what I did was stupid, and I agree it is. But here goes.
My drink of choice has always been vodka. Last weekend, I bought a bottle of KJ wine. I still have some left. I physically cannot drink more than 1/2 glass of this stuff at a time.
So why did I buy the wine? Probably thought I could handle it better than vodka. If the amount that I drank indicates "handling it" then I guess I did handle it better. When I drink vodka, one shot turns into 5 or 6 quickly.
So, what does this mean? I am a vodka alcoholic but not a wine alcoholic?
OK - I am ready for the onslaught. Please don't be too mean in your comments OK? Thanks
There are many informed opinions on what is and what is not about being an alcoholic. For me, I'm a recovered alcoholic drug addict not only because of my past chronic addictive history with alcohol and drugs - but also because of my wanting to stay forever quit. *For me, I don't have the last say on my being alcoholic or not.* My history with alcohol speaks for itself. It would be plain stupid for me to claim I'm not an alcoholic. Others may have a different opinion of my experiences, and that's their business, lol.
I've now been sober (34 in July) almost 3 times as many years as I was drunk (12 years). For many contemporary definitions, I'm no longer an alcoholic because alcohol has nothing to do with my life - i.e. I'm supposedly just a non-drinker.
Importantly, I do get last say on my recovery status though, and so for me, I'm now and always a recovered alcoholic. Being a non-drinker doesn't do justice to my past chronic abuse of alcohol. When I drank, I wasn't just another drinker, and so today I'm not just a non-drinker. I don't dumb-down my past to fit in. I'm all stocked up on being popular with drinkers and non-drinkers, lol.
ArtFriend, being an alcoholic isn't really about invoking personal choice. You can choose to drink, or you can chose to not drink. You can claim to be an alcoholic, you can claim to not be. No one, in my opinion anyways, can choose to be or not be an alcoholic. When people think they can choose, they at that point are really only talking about labels and empty words on a soapbox for whatever self-gratifications. So sure, they think being an alcoholic is a choice.
Being an alcoholic is all about the person cannot handle alcohol physically, emotionally, and mentally. Alcohol friggs them up, and the more they drink the more obvious it becomes alcohol is not their friend. For me, alcohol also frigged me up spiritually too. Alcohol in me destroys me the same day, not days, or weeks later. Physically it might take weeks I suppose. Mentally and spiritually same day. Emotionally within a few days I would be right back where I quit, except I'd also be FUBAR because my tolerance for alcohol after three decades would really play havoc with me. I'd be a hot mess same day.
So, I couldn't have that same sip of wine that you had. I couldn't, but not because I'm an alcoholic, okay? I couldn't because I have a reaction to that alcohol that is best described as my being a chronic alcoholic. You being able to have that sip of wine doesn't mean your not an alcoholic - what it does mean is you can still drink wine is all without obvious consequences. Hmmm.
Is it consequences which make most of us quit drinking? Yup, I would say yes. Do these same consequences keep us from drinking again? I would say no, consequences are not enough to stay quit. To stay quit one needs to live a sober lifestyle.
If I may ArtFriend, you freely admit to not living a sober lifestyle, and so its not surprising to me you don't always see yourself as an alcoholic. I think you can choose to not drink or to drink. To be an alcoholic, in my opinion, one must quit drinking because if they don't quit, they will destroy themselves from the inside out. I claim I'm a recovered alcoholic because I live a sober lifestyle, which is entirely different than just being a non-drinker. With my alcoholism, without a sober lifestyle, I wouldn't last a week sober.
Do I think you're an alcoholic ArtFriend?
Yes, I do. I totally believe if you lived a sober lifestyle, you would absolutely have a life worth living that didn't require a glass of wine...
Hey. All my best to you (((ArtFriend.)))
