Welcome to SR. I thought I could do it alone but I've learned the hard way that self sufficiency didn't work so well. I didn't want to admit I needed help or other people. When I started reaching out, I made progress.
I got all sorts of nostalgia and inspiration when I drank. My house is filled with the supplies I bought for many projects conceived under the influence of alcohol but never completed. Some never even started.
To me alcohol is the false promise of a creative and fulfilling life. Just not worth it. I come here and read and post to remind me.