Hi whiteturtle, I am sorry to hear you are feeling badly. I understand the feeling of nothing working or feeling satisfying when all you want is to drink.
I hope you will keep reaching out here. Everyone here and maybe you too, can attest to the regret that always comes with drinking after a period of abstaining. And of course that alcohol feeds depression.
Trust me... as far as being positive I don't think you should apologize!
It's called reality. I am going through a heck of a time myself. If I bum someone out, their issue not mine.
Glad you are here with us.