Here I am again at day 1. Yes Dee, the guy is still in my life. He is way worse off than I am. I can't convince him, and I am so weak to say no. This is my fault. I know that. I was so good in saying no for so long. I guess I just see and feel his pain and understand. But I know it's not good for me. I want him to stop drinking so bad but it seems like every night he is getting worse. Like I said before I was doing so well. The problem I have always had in life is putting everyone else first and myself last. I think it would be good if I cut ties but at the same time I just feel so bad for him. Does anyone want to slap me right now? I sort of do just typing this out. I just understand his pain and self medication.
I just wish I could go back to about 6 months ago when I was focused, positive, and didn't have any distractions. Do I cut the ties altogether? Do I suggest treatment? I guess I just wish I could find a way to not care so much about others and care more about my own well being.