Thank you guys. I have to say that it is something I have to attend. She is a friend of 15 years and it would break her heart for me to back out 4 days before.
I know that I *shouldn't* care what they think about me, but the fact is that I'm a little obsessed with peoples' opinion of me. I try not to be, but it is something I think about compulsively... if I was in a good place psychologically I don't think I would drink so much
Anyways, I don't feel ready to talk to these people about this thing yet. Right now my sobriety feels very fragile and I know they would undermine it (because if I have a drinking problem what does that make them?). I would have done the same to them a few months ago, before I really starting thinking about this.