No apologies necessary Charlie. That's what this site is built on, continuing and ongoing help for each other towards a sober life. I had to adjust my thinking over my 21 years of heavy drinking to make it where I am today at just over a year sober; and I'm very early on in this battle.
Good for you on making several key realizations;
-you have to do this for you
-you can only control your actions
-use every resource that you can to help fight this battle
- you've got to be accountable for your successes and set-backs
I finally hit a point where I didn't care who knew about my drinking problem, I was going to succeed no matter what anyone else thought or said. It was actually a great feeling to let my family and friends know it was time I quit and why. No more hiding.
You can do this Charlie. You are strong enough to make yourself better.
One day at a time, make this a good day!