Hi Liz,
I saw both of your posts in this thread. I think your X and your DS know of your guilt regarding son being home alone, school struggles, etc. I think they are both playing you to some extent. If you pull the plug on daddy time, it frees him up to blame you and continue drinking. He can't lose. (Well, he will lose the emotional dumping ground of his son...). I wouldn't be surprised if your son at some level wants you home and not working 'like the old days' when you were pretty much his personal assistant, tutor , and driver.
But the old days are over. You need to work for independence and to teach your son what the real world looks like. Even with his LD, he is fast approaching greater adult responsibilities and you are it for a healthy model.
As for the wine: this puts you at a weak arguing position with XAH. He is out to get you and your son is his primary weapon. Be alert and cautious for what seems normal to a 'normal' family is not normal when son has a LD and an alcoholic father recently divorced and likely bitter.
I'm glad you two really talked things over though. Teen boys can get so silent. It is great to hear he can open up to you still!
Take care!