Aa
Hello all,
I'm approaching a month on this site and in sobriety and have had a difficult time with it lately. Your posts at SR have been my lifeline as I don't discuss my "quit" with anyone in my daily life.
The idea of AA has always been anathema to me. It sounded just awful, frankly. As I have been on this site, being strengthened daily by other's shares, I have begun to contemplate the idea of attending a meeting.
So...last night I looked up meetings, found one where I would hopefully not run into one of the thousands of clients I have worked with over the years, chose a 6:00 a.m. meeting hoping normal folks would be asleep etc...
I got to the building, an old school, and walked up to the door, saw a few guys making coffee, and walked straight out the way I came. Stood outside for a few minutes as more folks arrived and finally willed myself back to the room.
When I walked in, just prior to the start of things, I was immediately approached by several guys (all male group) who asked me to join them. There was a lot of B.S.'ing going round and I felt fairly out of place. Once the meeting began, however, I realized how badly I had needed this for many years. Heartfelt story after heartfelt story, camraderie, real stuff just poured out of these guys. I found myself introducing myself, as an alcoholic, (first time I've said the word in public) and then basically crying in front of a bunch of strangers.
I cannot adequately express the "coming home" feeling that enveloped me. I am going to attempt to make a meeting a day for the next while and to really immerse myself in the process.
I credit this online, completely anonymous band of souls, for giving me the strength to do this.
Thanks all.
d
p.s. two past clients were there....didn't feel uncomfortable at all.