1. Reread your post and imagine someone else wrote it...what would you tell them?
2. Regarding your worries about returning to drinking, go back and read your posts from the last time your drank 46 days ago. Remember that you will be that person again, probably worse. Are you willing to risk everything once again?
3. How about focusing some of your efforts specifically on recovery from your addiction? If you spent as much time on that with the intense focus you are applying to your physical rehab, your addiction wouldn't stand a chance.