I can't imagine starting to drink at 24. I began smoking cigs and had my first taste of beer or whatever else around the time I was 12 or 13. My early years were filled with turmoil. I was the last of 5 girls and my parents fought constantly and it would get physical. My dad got the cops called on him multiple times and I remember the flashing lights and him being taken away in cuffs.
Soon as my mom went to work to be able to support the two of us who still lived at home, I saw an opportunity to take it up a notch. Not only that but my neighbor friend who was just a little younger than me drowned at the age of 11. After that, my world was wrecked. I sought out pills, smokes, weed, booze, whatever was available. My crowd became the druggy burn-outs.
I don't think I would have gone that route or hit it that hard if my friend hadn't died but I knew him since before we could remember each other. We grew up together and he was the closest thing I had to a brother. I couldn't make sense of him being gone. He was the first person that I was close to who had died. His mother was my God-mother.
I still think of him sometimes, obviously. I think if he hadn't died, we probably would have messed around or dated or maybe even more when we became adults. It was that kind of bond. His name was Stephen. What a waste.
So I can't imagine what it would be like to go through junior high and high school sober. The things I could have accomplished! The different path I could have chosen. But things are what they are and you can't remake the past. I guess everything has value if we learn from it and make the best use of who we are and where we are and where we intend to go.
Guess I needed to say all that today. I'm not sad, just saying.