Originally Posted by
lkc2010 
I have no idea WHY I cannot stay sober. I just cannot and I'm very tired of the mayhem that I continue to create for myself.
I'm hung over and really sick again. I'm not going into work. I was so ridiculously drunk this weekend that I had the worst hang over I've ever had on Saturday and Sunday. It actually scared me how sick I got.
I had a horrible day at work yesterday and drank myself into another oblivion. Ive been on a binge. I'm going to hurt myself accidentally or find myself in a terrible situation if I don't knock it off.
You would think I'd learn. I cannot express enough how tired of being a drunk I am. I don't want my bottom to get any worse. I need to go back to AA but feel like I've failed at it (I know they'll take me back). I just feel like an idiot 'oh there's that girl that can't stay sober'.
Yuck. I need to help myself. I made myself yet another promise this am to get sober and stay sober. I'm going to try very hard to stick to it.
Hey, just wanted to let u know your not alone. I too feel this way. Get sober for three months then when it comes to success I run out and use. Ive had three job offers and they all resulted in a huge panic attack and me loaded for days. Everything I see has a noose attached to it.. I feel like I'm wearing a blind fold and can't see the beauty in life. I love the chaos. I'm addicted to suicide. I still attend my meetings regularly but it's quickly followed by use. I'm ****** insane. Loneliness kills me as well. Ugh there's that guy again who can't stay sober