I remember the resentments I held on
to my husband of 25 yrs for a long time.
He was along with my kids as members
of our family unit without addictions.
Seems as tho normal folks don't put
drinking as top priority in their lives
like I did. School, work, family, fun
activities were their priorities.
About 8 yrs into our marriage was
when my husband and family did an
intervention on me and for them saving
my life I resented that. How dare you
take my only source of fun away from
me.
As I continued to learn about recovery
and held on to the hope that so many
member in recovery talked about that
I would one day experience the promises
that is stated in our Big Book of AA, kept
me plowing thru one day at a time I didn't
drink.
Over our 25 yrs marriage, I was the only
one who was working and living a program
of recovery. We eventually failed in communication
and understanding and what marriage was
truly all about.
With so much prayers asking for guidance,
strength, and care in my recovery life, my
prayers eventually got answered and thus
left my 25 yr marriage.
Sure there were a many days and yrs where
I would say that my husband was the calm in
my storms of life, the one with the halo and
wings, however, I wanted a husband, a spouse,
who would not only take care of my heart
and put me first above his family, work, and
most of all his family, and he didn't sad to say.
That was when I realized where I stood
in his life and he in mine and that became
the culprit to end of our marriage.
Im not gonna say I was an angel or saint
in our marriage, because I wasn't. I did
all the things that I thought I needed to
make me happy and they actually didn't.
They were lies, deception, manipulation,
sins.
When my prayer was answered and could
leave the marriage without hurting my spouse
then and only then was another door opened
for me to experience a freedom like no other
I had ever experienced before.
No more lies. No more sins. No more resentments.
I live like an open book with nothing to
hide and that to me is what living in recovery
is all about.
Willingness, openmindedness and honesty.
