This thread has gone pretty silent and seems to be just you and me Ready. Hopefully we get some of the Feb folks back that were active. Thanks to Dee and Soberwolf for popping in.
Anyway, weather is fantastic in the northeast today. Getting ready to go for a jog around the lake where my parents have a house. Thinking I'll do two full laps, which is like 8 miles. Then going to do a short hike with my dad and brother this afternoon. I'm at the point now where I really just want no part of alcohol given the calories. I really hope that once I hit my goal weight, the aversion to alcohol will stick. But it's Day 72 for me here and 134 of 135 and I'm still not able to think of being sober "forever." In particular, when dating in the past, I've had some success with Match, but the first date has always been "let's meet up for drinks." I know a coffee shop, visit to a museum, stroll in Central Park, etc are all legit options, but the whole dating thing is nerve wracking for me and the "meet up for drinks" is something I've done about 8 or 9 times over the years, with three developing into brief relationships that didn't end due to my drinking. And I'm aware enough of why I drink to know that I'm not looking to just take the edge off and that's why I want to do a first date at a bar.
When I spoke with my therapist this week, he did say that since on dates I stay under control given I'm one on one and don't want to make an arse of myself so I drink the same number as my date, I don't have to rule out having a few on the first few dates. We talked about that being a slippery slope, and some strategies about establishing myself as someone who just drinks very little, but agreed that this was probably not the best idea.
Dating is really on my mind since July started since I'll be turning 30 this month (prefer not to give the exact date just to help with anonymity). Given this long run of sobriety, my doctor and I have had more productive sessions since there's not a lot to talk about on the alcohol front and can focus more on my relationship anxiety and how I can use my otherwise good social skills to work there. I'm not a shy person, I don't mind public speaking, I have a good group of friends from growing up, from college, from work and now from graduate school, so I know what I need to do is just realize that my anxiety in that setting is unfounded. I get outrageously tense before first dates and can barely function that day.
Well, sorry for the long post. For the time being, I'm not actively seeking dates as I want a few more sessions with my therapist to discuss the booze component and I'm going to Europe for two weeks at the end of July, so I don't want to start dating now.. But come August, I'm determined to get back on Match and start actively working on that. Hopefully by then I can come to grips with zero drinks and just be a tiny bit more creative about a first date that's not "let's meet up for drinks." I know that a potential partner would much rather be with a teetotaler than a drunk.
Happy 4th to all those reading from the U.S.!