It's hard getting used to relationships in your sober life.
My husband didn't drink and didn't understand alcoholism either. He just wanted me to get better but didn't want to talk about it or be involved. So, the downside was that I had no one to lean on, but the upside was that 'wow, I did it'.
One thing I started doing in very early recovery was walking after supper to get away from the temptation. My husband soon began to join me and it worked wonders in every way. It was a time when we focused on talking, no interruptions and it was wonderful and relaxing. Is there something you could suggest doing with your husband that might help to reconnect the two of you?
As for your mother and her family drama, I am pretty hard over on this. You need to put yourself first, at least for awhile until you feel secure in your recovery. I had to step back from my mother. We didn't live near each other but I had to limit phone calls because they upset me so much. I'd usually respond to every third call. Again, this was new territory for me because I had always done what was expected.
Bottom line, you know in your heart what you need to do, so take care of yourself and your recovery.