Chances are that, unless you get well on the road to sobriety, you'll eventually lose your professional license. Thus, aside from this, you seem to have only one viable option. That is to seek counseling and join a group of professionals like yourself, preferably a small group, which has strict rules about any gossip outside of the meeting. There is always a small amount of risk but this is a risk which must be taken. The alternative is horrendous, eventual loss of license and on top of that having to get yourself out of even more severe alcoholism. I'm truly sorry but those are the facts. This is your chance. Never drink again, get help, like medical or other professional help, join a group of professionals in recovery and hang in there. Alcohol is your very top priority. Keep posting. Every good wish. All the best to you. Whatever happens we're here for you. As already suggested on this site, you can do a lot of good for yourself just on the internet. Not as much good as face to face but still good. Consider that too.
W.