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Old 06-30-2015, 10:50 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
2muchpain
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
I remember standing in line at a liquor store. I hated it when there was a long line because I wanted to just get home and drink, but also because I was shaking so bad, just standing was a challenge. Always tried to have the cash, since using my debit card was a challenge, leaning over the machine, trying to see the numbers. Even pulling out the money was a challenge, with my hands shaking so much. Must of been obvious, but didn't care. Just wanted to get out of there and get home. Then start over in a day or two. What a way to live. Takes a lot of work to be a drunk. Timing, cash on hand, which store to go to, best roads to take to get home, getting to my apartment without falling down, etc. All of this just to drink. It's a lot easier to just get up in the morning without all this to think about, and go about my sober business and actually feel good about what I did. I am not stuck in an alcoholic routine, with no choices. I wake up every day with many possibilities. The only challenges I have now are what I place on myself. But at least I have the freedom now to deal with them. Being hand-cuffed is more than a legal problem. Find the key, and it will set you free. John
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