Day one again...
Hi all
I'm starting this new thread to give myself more accountability. Today I am starting day one all over again.
The last few weeks I have been wobbling about. On the weekend I was back to 1 1/2 to 2 bottles of wine every evening. I have reached the end of my tether. I am a teacher and yesterday I was observed teaching (usual practice in the UK) by my boss. I had planned what I thought would be a great lesson. However my anxiety was through the roof as a result of drinking. The lesson was awful, the worst that I have ever delivered in 20+ years of teaching. I have always prided myself on delivering good lessons. I came home last night and to try to forget about it I drank 2 bottles of wine.
I woke up this morning feeling truly dreadful. My self esteem is in tatters. I don't know what the consequences will be from yesterday but I suspect I will be hauled over the coals. I haven't gone into work today as I am too embarrassed to face my boss.
So today I start day one again. I have to sort this out. This is my action plan so far:
1. Book doctors appointment (done)
2. Order 2 self help drinking books (done)
3. Find an AA meeting that I can get to (done there's one on Saturday)
4. Sign up again on the 24 hour thread (done)
5. Join a new class (will join the July one tomorrow)
6. Journal day one (done)
7. Start this thread (done)
8. Tell those closest to me that I have stopped drinking for good (done)
My lovely children deserve a much better mum. I don't ever want to feel this awful ever again. I really have hit my rock bottom. I am open to any further suggestions...
Thanks all
m