Thanks for the responses everyone, this thread was a brain dump of a thought process yesterday which, for me, adds to the attraction of sobriety.
I fully appreciate all the other costs and opportunity costs over the years, in terms of relationships, sanity and mental health etc. Sorry if I came across a bit single minded but damaged relationships (god knows there are too many of them!) are given for most of us and I felt that writing this is one of the only ways (if a little crude) that the damage can be quantified.
I am not looking to dwell on the past but I think it's pretty important to look into the past to ensure and promote a stable future.