I'm think anvil head mention the thread names for some of your past posts......I just think your unhappy maybe frustrated.....about life......and until you reverse those things....it's going to be a challenge to stay sober......last year about this time I was a mess.....not so this year.....but I changed my life ......including not drinking but not just not drinking. I went out for lunch today at one of my favorite places.....my friend had a 20 oz beer.......I had ice tea......and it was really good ice tea......I was not jealous I was not craving......I just was. I don't know....maybe just try to be.