I'm in bed drinking camomile tea.
And thinking.
At a meeting this week I did something new.
I always used alcohol to cope with my social anxiety. There was a new man at this meeting. He looked alone and scared. Like I used to be. Without thinking, I walked over to him and said "Hi! My name is Tetra, nice to meet you" and I introduced my friend who was beside me. I was always too scared to do that before. When I mentioned it to my dad he smiled and said it's a very good thing to introduce yourself to people. He used to have a colleague - a very intelligent man who also suffered from shyness - who made a point at meetings to introduce himself to different people.
On the topic of doing scary things, I have decided on a new hobby. I'm going to get my full drivers licence - I can drive but I never took the final test. My dad, my brother and my therapist have been encouraging me to do this. My brother says " it will give you a new lease of life. You won't
know yourself!" So I have booked a driving lesson tomorrow. This is scary for me as my city is known as "roundabout city" and it scares the hell out of me! Look at me, I'm growing!
On a different topic, my dad told my mom that I kind of have a new boyfriend and I went to Dublin to meet him a few weeks ago. I thought they would be annoyed that I lied but they weren't at all. My dad said my mom was very excited for me and she wanted to ask me about it but my dad told her not to make a big issue out of it because I'm only putting my life back together.
I feel good about it all. It feels good not to be hiding things.