Originally Posted by
Serenidad 
The first few years of my sobriety I had a sponsor, went to 5-7 AA meetings a week, worked the steps etc. For some reason my willingness is at zero. I think it's more shame of facing people from AA & saying I relapsed.
That's pride Serenidad. I had to do it when I went back, and it was very humbling. But, if we want to be free of the agonies that alcohol brings us, we have to do some tough stuff.
You seem to bounce between AA, and other plans. Why not decide on one and follow it with every ounce of energy you've got?
I'm 3 months sober now, and feel older and wiser. My relapse taught me a lot, and I'm never going back there. It really isn't easy but it is possible.
Best wishes to you x