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Old 06-26-2015, 09:05 AM
  # 37 (permalink)  
IneedJesus
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 11
very little hope if any

Originally Posted by Serenidad View Post
I was doing so well and had a massive craving and gave in. How did I ever stay sober for over 5 years?

This disease is evil! I feel like I'm ready to just give up. :-(

I'm soooooo tired.
I'm so sorry you are having these feelings presently. I am exactly at the same crossroads. I am married with an almost 2yr old daughter. My wife has a pen in her hand and her signature is all that's needed. I'm scared! They are the only thing I want on life except for my DOC of course. The thing is I don't want it all the time. I can not want and say no for 23hrs 59minutes 59 seconds but not even a second required to totally ruin my world. Few years back got a couple years clean. Last couple been on,off,on,off. I have ZERO evidence showing I can stay clean. I want to not use. Then I think it is going to happen eventually should I just use and she will find out?Tell her to sign being history is a good indicator for the future? It's not looking good.
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