Originally Posted by
Serenidad 
The next thing I can do right now is go to an AA meeting and read my big book. That's the only thing that worked before. I need to get off my lazy ass!!! I can't think my way out of this disease.
Returning to AA is a good idea. I have been here on SR for 14 months and cannot help but notice a distinct pattern with your recovery of emphatically begging for help and then very intentionally rejecting it. Like slamming a door. If you can see the pattern, then maybe you can consider what in your life you are consistently recreating? Then work hard to break the pattern. Drinking is not inevitable.
You can do this Serenidad.
