I do most of my learning and work over at the Smart Recovery website and forums. You might find it helpful to browse threads and stickys there, get ideas for your situation. Its helped me.
I will go and look at some of your posts here because Im not sure of your exact situation. Some things sound simple, but with my husband Ive found simple drink choices can offer an alternative. Like watching a movie at home and maybe making up smoothie drinks. we have a great friend and we would go out with him and he purposely suggested a great coffee bar where we could sit and talk. we got the same socialization and had fun, but it broke a pattern of meeting somewhere where alcohol was served. so, would he choose to alter his pattern? I need to read more about your details to see where your all at.