Hi FreeOwl, I believe takes a lot of courage to admit to such things, but probably felt good to put it out there. Those are some pretty horrible things that alcohol is responsible for. Its not you, its the booze correct? I also believe posts like this one are helpful to others who are on the slippery slope but have not reached that point, but it is something they can look forward to if they do not take action. It is posts like this one that shake me to my core. I've done none of these things, but I'm confident I am capable of it, no doubt. I peed in my laundry basket once thinking is was the toilet, I've drunkenly posted on this site while playing a re-run of my dark years, posting dark thoughts and my crazy juvenile behavior while in my 20's. Thank you for this post.