I drank for 40 years. I struggled for a long time, believing I could fix myself.
The Counselor ... The Treatment Center ... thinking I had 'recovered' so I could drink moderately again ... doing my best to dissociate from my AV ... going to AA meetings (just don't drink and go to meetings) ...
The only thing that brought a complete renewal and transformation in me was WORKING the 12 Steps of AA, and now continuing to work the Daily Steps. (I do like to go to meetings, because I have made some good friends there and there are 'newcomers' that are in just as bad a state as I was)
Listening to Recovery Speaker Messages I found by doing Web Searches also helped me greatly.
RCBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous, and FREE ... a year and a half + now!