angiebaby33

Hey Everyone,

I am attempting another day 1 as things have been spiralling out of control for me lately.
Just a short month and a half ago, I was sober... loving life... running again, had lost 15 lbs and everyone was noticing how great I looked which reflected how I was feeling inside too... then I got dumped... after more than a decade of friendship with this man and a 3 year relationship (we even lived together), he decided he wasn't happy, I wasn't a good match for him, etc etc. I was devastated to say the least. I had to move out of our home because I couldn't afford it on my pay alone.

The day of the break up, I bought and drank a bottle of rum. I thought (of course) it'd just be that one and then i'd pick myself up and be the strong independent woman I know I can be. That one night, has turned into two months of drinking every night. So much so that I don't remember what movie I watched, or what I may have posted on facebook. I don't want to wake up and have to search my phone and hope I didn't text "him" so he'd know how sad and pathetic I am. I feel my drinking is helping me hold on to my sadness and I don't want to be sad anymore. I want to be sober, healthy and in control of my life. I want to be smoking hot if I ever bump into my ex, not bloated, hungover and overweight.

I have been reading posts and taking in everyones words of advice and shared wisdom and find this site so encouraging. Yes I know you'll all ask me for my plan.

Today is going to my final day 1. My plan is to come home from work, make dinner, and read Game of Thrones (if anything can distract me from AV, GOT can! ) and i'm going to remind myself that I am better than this. That I don't need to be sad anymore. I will also continue to read other peoples celebratory posts to keep me motivated that I CAN do this, and I have done it before... this past two months has been a set back, but sobriety is possible. Just taking it day by day until it feels normal.

Angela