congratulations on your sobriety!!
a year and a half sober, I am no stranger to some of the sentiments you've expressed.
The good news I can report is that there are many ways to dance life's dance.... and there are many other types of highs and intensity and thrills. In fact, there are SO many more ways to experience the ride than just drunk or high.
And what I've found is that they're way better, more memorable, deeper, more meaningful.
May you find your new moves too....
Keep at it, hold faith, and TRY NEW STEPS.
You can't learn a new dance or taste a new thrill if you're stuck reviewing your old dance notes all the time.