Urkillingme2... I have a pretty good support system, the therapist obviously, who basically told me the same things that you learn in alanon. That I have to take care of me and let him do what he's going to do, let him fall on his own and stop calling and checking up on him. My mom, who says that I need to have less contact but she also feels bad for him. My brother, who is a recovered drug addict so he has a different perspective. My best friend who wants to kill him for what he's done to me. And lastly his cousin, who tells me that I deserve better and to just walk away. They all have different points of view to offer.
For me, it's a matter of giving up on the fantasy. Recognizing that he will never be the man I thought he was or could be. He's got to much work to do and will probably never be 100% done with it. I worked hard to get where I am. I own my business and my home and don't want to lose it all because of him, I wont. I miss the way things were in the beginning but it will probably never be or feel,like that again. I want to plan for my future, my retirement. I want to travel, do things with my life. I'm trying very hard to go no contact but it's so hard. I have a lot of work to do now too. I have to give up on taking care of him and fixing or controlling things for him.