I don't know if people really know how it affects others (me) when they relapse. There is always a part of me that says, "See, they can do it," almost like, "neener neener," even though intellectually I'm sure no one elses' relapses have anything to do with me.
I did a lot of work on the codependency/boundaries side 25 years ago. It's more my thing than alcohol - so I have to be really careful who I get attached to here and in real life. I cannot take on the woes of the serial relapsers and I have to be mindful to create boundaries between their pain and myself.
When I was going to AA meetings I tended to get all tender-hearted about people and then they would drink and it was difficult for me to know how to treat them afterwards, so I just would give them a hug and say nothing.