Hi usedtobepretty. (Btw, you probably still are, you just need your health and confidence back.)
I agree with everyone who's said that it would be best if you didn't drink at all. One of the most difficult things I find is thinking about the future, even the in the short term. I've been sober 4 days now (which would make 13 days in total for this month). I've been very off-and-on. My partner is gone; he couldn't tolerate the unpredictable anymore. He'll never trust my sincerity until I stop drinking altogether.