20 years?? What's he been doing all that time to then blow it? Lots of deep seeded problems. I don't always hold to the no dating for a year thing. It depends. Seems like addicts find an excuse to focus on themselves no matter what. Using or recovering they are the center of the world. That said, hospitalizing yourself is very serious. In this case, he does need concentrated help, but more importantly YOU don't need to stick around and become ill. If it's meant to be, you guys may come back together when he's well. Love from a distance is still love.