Thank you Hevyn. I blame myself and my genes for drinking. I used to hate watching my parents drink and my sister and I often talk about how to get them to slow down (they easily drink between 4-5 bottles of wine a day between them), but that is them, not me.
My ex was a huge problem for me - he has NEVER drunk alcohol, but he would buy me beer, encourage me to drink it, then berate me in front of people for drinking. It was part of many abusive behaviors. Part of his control issues was using what he knew was a weakness to his advantage. So, thank God I am past that. Since we split I would immediately need to drink after talking/seeing him. So, getting through a pick up at his house last night was HUGE!