Having an awful time, dreams of drinks again
Hello! It's been a little while since I've posted, but life has been, well, lousy. My father is being admitted to a hospice this week. Even that is actually the best-case scenario as the hospital is not sure they will be able to move him period and he might have to stay at the city hospital he's been in for over a week now. It's not like he is incoherent or anything, just his lungs are failing and he needs so much oxygen, not many facilities have the equipment. But I am hoping for the best that he is either able to be moved closer to home, or better yet, home.
My sobriety has not been in question, as I know as well as anyone that a drink right now would send me over the edge in terms of emotions. It makes it a very easy way to decline the few drinks I've been offered by friends and family during this incredibly difficult time. I am thankful for my 13 weeks (I think?) of sobriety so that I am able to be there for my family as much as I can.
I had a dream that involved taking a drink last night. As in others I've had, I don't realize what I'm doing until after I've had the drink. Don't remember much more than that, but it's the first drinking dream I've had in a while. Not surprised, I guess, what with all the stress and emotions coming up.
Sigh. This sucks. I never knew this could physically hurt so much, but it does. I just wasn't ready to be at this point.